New Year, but the same Poet Heart.

It's been a while since last time i wrote in here, guess i'm back to the sadness it originated from.

Nothing much happened in during the time i've been away, now i'm back "trying" to socialize with people, but i guess i just don't have what it takes, maybe i'm too frail, or maybe i was born to get hurt, i don't care after all, it makes me angry to think this way, even thought it's just another undeniable truth.

It's almost like as if i live in another paralel reality in wich every feeling is so simple that i turns out too complicated for me to understand, people just keep hurting me, disapointing me with every single breath they take, using their time to make actions without knowing the consequences they will cause to the others.

Besides my emotional problems that NEVER go away, no matter how much i try, i'm also dealing with a bloodline problem, it seems i inherited more from my mother than the nose or the smile.

In the first two months of this year i discovered that can absorb people's memories, and see them in the form of dreams, my brother was the one who discovered this ability on me after i dreamt of a place and a person that only he knew.

Also, as if other people's memories weren't enough, my body is able to receive spirits like a medium, but it only happened once, and i don't have much information about that, but one thing i know for sure, my mother just wasn't happy enough to destroy my whole childhood, but also, to share such useless and anoying things with me, i hate my life.

At least some people are recognizing some talents i think i have, like drawing, or writting poems, thought, i doesn't change how bad i fell for being me every day.

I wrote a poem today, just about something that happened.

A Poet's Heart:

A Poet's Heart is frail, but it has it's value.

A Poet's Heart is carefully crafted in dust, it's a very rare and precious work of the nature.

But the Poet's Heart is a thing that doesn't belong to anyone after all, since he's too weak,
it can't be hold by anyone, neither go against the wind, as it turns to nothing so fast.

And the more it want's to belong to someone, the more it feels lonely, locked away, and useless.

Well hope you guys like it, since for me, it's just way i fell recently, nothing more but a feeling, a hard one to bear with.

Well, anyway, bye.

THE LAST COLD FEELING.

I've had it right now, after some time thinking, and some "practical experiments", i've discovered that my "loved one" A.K.A. "my curse" has a 90% chance of being pregnant in base of some evidences.
Pregnant girls tend to be more lovely with someone who's up to give them attention, so that might explain the "connection" between us both that i earlier thought it was love.
They also tend to carry some clearly visible habits, they tend get more fragile, emotional, besides that, her belly got a little bigger along the way (Earlier, her mother was suspecting that they were having intercourse without protection, about 4 months.), so, i have reasons to doubt of that possibility.

She was trying to get away from her boyfriend (A.K.A. Retarded Asian Asshole) , but somehow they're going together everywhere now, so i think this, and the other evidences(That i'm not going to write here) are enough to place pregnancy as a reasonable conclusion.

Makes me sad to know that, but i once said to my brother, that if something like that happens, there's always the "plan B"(The plan B consists of me saving some money for 2 years, and then going to europe to forget the problems, i was thinking of Russia, i like their culture, maybe i can fit in there).
I also decided to get my old GF back, so i can start using some drugs, and fuck up my life as much as i can, 'cuz the sooner my life ends, the sooner i'll forget her(Even thought, i don't think that it is possible).

Anyways, i decided to change my life right now, and that's a promise(Please remind me if i forget), no matter what happens i'll follow my way, no one is going to stop me, this feeling, these thoughts made me write something, and i think it's a good one so, i'll post it here.

The Last Cold Feeling (Written by Myself[DB]) This is where it ends, the point where it started. The fruit withered in the tree, it never had it's chance to begin with. A soundless scream goes unheard, from inside my chest, breaking decibels, cutting through ears, as it makes itself visible through my eyes. No one wants to get hurt, but we are all wounded, covered in scars that no one sees. We hide our hearts, but in the end, everything is the same. The end is what i live, the end is what i am, and this is the sign, the Last Cold Feeling.

Also i've made some artwork related to my recent feeling, hope you all enjoy, but i didn't, i'm at my worst times, someone help me.

Sahara!