I've had it right now, after some time thinking, and some "practical experiments", i've discovered that my "loved one" A.K.A. "my curse" has a 90% chance of being pregnant in base of some evidences.
Pregnant girls tend to be more lovely with someone who's up to give them attention, so that might explain the "connection" between us both that i earlier thought it was love.
They also tend to carry some clearly visible habits, they tend get more fragile, emotional, besides that, her belly got a little bigger along the way (Earlier, her mother was suspecting that they were having intercourse without protection, about 4 months.), so, i have reasons to doubt of that possibility.
She was trying to get away from her boyfriend (A.K.A. Retarded Asian Asshole) , but somehow they're going together everywhere now, so i think this, and the other evidences(That i'm not going to write here) are enough to place pregnancy as a reasonable conclusion.
Makes me sad to know that, but i once said to my brother, that if something like that happens, there's always the "plan B"(The plan B consists of me saving some money for 2 years, and then going to europe to forget the problems, i was thinking of Russia, i like their culture, maybe i can fit in there).
I also decided to get my old GF back, so i can start using some drugs, and fuck up my life as much as i can, 'cuz the sooner my life ends, the sooner i'll forget her(Even thought, i don't think that it is possible).
Anyways, i decided to change my life right now, and that's a promise(Please remind me if i forget), no matter what happens i'll follow my way, no one is going to stop me, this feeling, these thoughts made me write something, and i think it's a good one so, i'll post it here.
The Last Cold Feeling (Written by Myself[DB]) This is where it ends, the point where it started. The fruit withered in the tree, it never had it's chance to begin with. A soundless scream goes unheard, from inside my chest, breaking decibels, cutting through ears, as it makes itself visible through my eyes. No one wants to get hurt, but we are all wounded, covered in scars that no one sees. We hide our hearts, but in the end, everything is the same. The end is what i live, the end is what i am, and this is the sign, the Last Cold Feeling.
Also i've made some artwork related to my recent feeling, hope you all enjoy, but i didn't, i'm at my worst times, someone help me.