sexta-feira, 13 de janeiro de 2012

Words that roll down like tears.

Yesterday was another one of those painfull days where you're taken away from the peace in heaven's clouds and thrown back at the despair of the deep abyss.

It was a tough day specially for the many things i noticed defective in my life up 'till now, and it made me realise it wasn't going to be easy to pursue a better life (even tought, i was thinking it was impossible, back then).

As a way of relieving myself, i started writting my pain down, and so this poem came as the words rolled down from my pen like tears from my face.

The Sadness of me.

Sometimes i feel tired of watching it all pass like this,
without doing nothing to help myself,
out of this unpleasant daily struggle,
this suffocating stress,
with every aspect of my disappointing mess.

I'm the victim of misfortune, maybe destiny,
and i can't do anything to fix it,
for the damage was too much,
my heart is not brand new,
as it tries it's best to conceal,
its working missing most of it's pieces, beating faintly,
crumbling down, with the winds,
that come gently showing,
the cold peace only death brings.

While i still can't leave,
for i am bound to the friends i made over here,
and the promises i made to them,
i wish i could go, and finally discover,
what it feels to have a full heart again,
meet new horizons of white and blue,
to forget i've ever knew the meaning of pain.

That's the place i'll call "home",
for i've never felt at place in this world,
and i'll wait to meet a person there,
a new happy "me", not sad, like this one.


One of the certain things in life is the end, that's something keeps me less nervous.

segunda-feira, 2 de janeiro de 2012

So Long gone.

Honestly, of all the years that i've been through, this last one won't be missed, it was a tough one, with many problems on my own, just a few good things to remember, and the main struggle against one of the biggest lies in my life, my family.

In general i've learned a painful(truly painful) lot, about myself, about people around, about the things that surround me, and the things i've learned weren't pleasant, to think that getting older is to get bitter as well, i would never have wanted to grow up.

So then, the result of all that happened, is that i've cultivated inside me a parasite that keeps crawling inside my head, and telling me to get out, to make my life better, not only that, but to make it my own, and i expect to do so too, to be responsible for my decisions and only, and not to blame for whatever my parents did to their lives.

And if it still isn't clear to see, what i'm trying to say, is that i'm going to pursue violently and without stopping the chance to be happy by myself, without depending on anyone, without needing anyone, simply 'cause i'm absurdly pissed off and fed up with all the crap that's been going on, fucking me up and destroying my life.

This is a scream for the whole world to hear, and i'll shout it from the abyss i'm in, cause one day i'll arrise from it, and bring my fists to the face of whoever made my life this mess.

And it doesn't matter how long it takes, but i'll make it...


Fuck you, shitty world!!