sábado, 21 de abril de 2012

I am made of nothing, and in the nothing i reside.

It took me sometime to write the blog again since i've been very busy recently, pondering about my existence as well as my reason for being in this world, all while being occupied with daily chores, prohibiting myself from leaving my personal quarters oftenly, let alone the other near rooms, and the apartment itself.

During a very unpleasant conversation with a friend of mine (not much of a "friend" right now),
i came to stitch a few words together making such a phrase if i recall properly:

"...I am made of nothing, when i'm gone, the sky will still be set, and to the nothing i will come back."

Well, needless to say, she probably didn't like or couldn't understand what i'd said, replied in a very rude tone, and kept lecturing me about the way i (do not) react to certain difficulties in my life. I for one, do not aprove neither apreciate ignorance, and if someone can't comprehend a message as simple as that, then the least i can do is turn my back, and head somewhere else, preferably a place where my thoughts can be at least respected, after all i don't think people should agree with everything i say, however, people should respect each others way of seeing things, it's a basic knowledge required for living alongside one or more people, either you accept it or you can live inside a cave.

Now, back to the meaning of the title, what i meant by the phrase, is a simple question i made to myself, and answered right after a good while thinking. What am i? What am i, in the essence of it? The answer: "I am nothing, before i was born there was nothing, and after i die, there will be nothing. I can make all the efforts to make my mark in this world, but one day, it will disappear, innevitably, and it's not like i am telling people to stop trying, i'm trying to explain a fact, that many struggle to accept, the end."

After a certain point in this life, sometime ago,
i learned to accept the end, and embrace it,
you can't run from it, but you also don't know when it'll come,
so do all you can, the best you can,
what makes you happy, what feels alright,
don't give in to the restrictions,
as for now, that's all,
when the end comes,
we'll all be nothing,
as we were in times before.


...Sounded a little bit too poetic?
Well, i can't help it, the human soul is so much, and yet so little,
and repeating what said during the end of the mentioned conversation in the post:
"...I know the truth, but i don't have to accept it, as i'd rather believe in different place for, with no more pain and sadness."